WHEN

The question of time becomes, then: is there some other way I might better spend it?

There are two ways to constrain my speculation: chasing those things which last only the summer, allowing me to return to school in the fall; and chasing those things which allow me to avoid this prospect.

There is some overlap. Summer jobs that might go FT in the fall, or careers that one can quit when September comes. But limits, too: a summer gig is much less likely to let me avoid fall work, whereas a full-time gig is decidedly unlikely to interest me in a return to the fallow fold.

& much of the work in which I’d be most interested – joining up with Epiphyte(3), or starting it – would not only be difficult to leave after a short time, but would not have born fruit during such a short period. An investment in dropping-out would be necessitated.

Let’s riff.

SUMMER JOBS: As of this moment I’ve applied for about 140. No headway. I’m not surprised. Jobs for first-year law students don’t much exist. Most associateships are specifically limited to 2Ls. Even to 3Ls – that is to say, graduates. Several firms I’ve contacted have been terribly nice in their responses – really, any response for a job app is such that I’d consider a terrible niceness at this point – but have said, with an oft perceptible hint of shame, that they are not intending on bringing on *any* summer associates for ought-fourteen. This because, it seems, they just don’t have the money.

And so in spite of all diligence due, I ain’t gonna get one. Consideration of whether I want one is irrelevant but of interest. Nine months I’ll have just spent doing nothing, accomplishing nothing. If the summer job was little more I’d have little interest at all. Do any of these look like real opportunities? Some, perhaps. A summer associateship at a Wall Street firm: I don’t think I could turn that down for near anything. Not the least because it pays three thousand dollars. A week.

But few and far between are such opportunities. The remainder are less. Unpaid internships. Office work. Part-time volunteering. No volley, no thunder. Lesser work, almost all, than things that I have done before. An officer now a conscript. Back before the mast.

This sucks.

FULL TIME JOBS: If I’d been able to find one, I much doubt I’d have come to law school. (I like to think I would not.) I have applied to all the jobs. Not counting the summer positions on which I’ve dropped a merry dime? 1380, I think. That’s a lot of jobs. I couldn’t get one. Overqualified, under-: ying and yang am I. I’d have better luck winning the bronze in female pole vaulting than getting a job that I wanted. And, it seems, little more luck getting one that I don’t.

I have begun to apply to jobs with the clear purpose of getting out of law school. Employ me, I say, so I can drop the fuck out. (Crafting *that* cover letter, that took a bit of work.) But this is a heavy yoke; without it I found nothing, so I rather doubt it will be of assistance. Yokes are hard to stand on.

Aside: besides, what sort of Full Time Job would I really want?

No, that’s a different question. And an entree into daydreaming – which makes it, not easier to go to class, but worse. Very much worse.

AND SO IN CONCLUSION: Ain’t got shit to do this summer. Must use my time.

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